Mailbag – How to Declutter your Home Help
Recently I received a message from Tina about how to declutter her home. Instead of going into a description I will let you read the message instead. Here it is:
Let me start with I am a wife and mother of 3 and one the youngest has special needs .They are all in full day school but ,I’m sooooooooooooo depressed over the clutter and mess of my house that protect service have beeen called on me and now I need to pull my head out of my butt and declutter and organize my home but I fell I must do it all myself because no one else will do it right. how can you help me ? Iam like the other lady and buy stuff to organize it but it just adds to it. I have had my bed in the living room for over 2 month because I cant seem to get anything clean anuf to move back to my bedroom and as for the sex life none?PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tina
Tina,
What you need in this case is to step back for a moment and reflect on what are your biggest issues and address those first. A lot of the problems that we have with decluttering stem from mental blocks that we ourselves place in our heads. A change in mentality would definitely help out this situation. The easiest way to do that is to make things easier on yourself by making a plan.
I would start out with a pen and paper and draw an overhead view of the home, labeling it with furniture, room names and clutter. You could consider this a map of sorts. Circle areas on that map that you feel are the biggest clutter areas. Now make a plan of attack for those trouble areas.
Write down what gives you the most trouble and figure out a way that you can make it easier on yourself. I would try to get family to help out and be responsible for their actions. Make them accountable for their own dishes, clean up after themselves etc..
Remember you are setting an example for them. I am sure that you wouldn’t want them to end up in the same clutter that you have to deal with. The harsh reality is that most children learn from emulation and would end up being the same way as their parents. If you don’t want that to happen, you will need to make that change for the better. This could also be used as motivation for yourself because you wouldn’t want them to end up in the same state.
I would definitely work on getting your living room back to being a bedroom and your living room back to being a living room to help begin with some sense of normalcy. Every time you look at your living room I am sure that you have an issue with it and it probably depresses you even more. Most likely that is the biggest problem that needs to addressed.
Make a plan of attack to get the living room and bedroom back to normal. Getting rid of items that you don’t need or won’t use. You can either sell it, donate it or just trash it. You can decide.
It is also important to make things easy on yourself by making goals that are smaller and easily achievable. Motivate yourself by giving yourself incentives for accomplishing these goals. Maybe some extra free time for yourself, or a nice bubble bath, or whatever will help motivate you to get these goals accomplished.
Many people get overwhelmed by looking at all of the clutter instead of breaking it down into smaller items that can be more easily managed. Remember this solution is not a 1 time solution. It is a solution that will constantly need to be attended to. This will require a change of lifestyle and mindset beginning with motivation and discipline. Your dishes will not wash themselves. The laundry will not get done on their own either.
Remember that you are not alone, and that many people have to fight with this on a daily basis, but it is the conscious effort that we make every day to make it better for ourselves. The feeling of decluttering and having a clean home is definitely worth the extra work. You will find that once you have done it once and then come up with a solid follow up plan that you will really enjoy that extra peace of mind.
I am sure that many of the readers here have experienced similar circumstances. It would be nice to hear some encouraging words from you for Tina. Please feel free to leave a comment or a note of encouragement.
Stay Strong. Stay Motivated and keep on Decluttering.
Keep It Clean!
Genevieve
Hi Tina,
I had a large task after my divorce, I had to renovate and move a farm in 12 weeks. I broken things down in a list into managable tasks first renovate the cottage, to make it liveable for my kids and i spent 8 weeks plastering and painting and repairing the cottage, then i had 6 days with a girlfriend i sat comatosed on the beach regrouping…lol. then i went back and cleaning up the farm… this was not a easy task as i had collected huge amounts of stuff, u know u might need it one day. I had enough material to make clothes for a large department store i donated it to the local high schools for underpriviledge kids. There are always underlying reasons why we collect things… a feel of lack sometime in our lives, and empty feeling that we feel we have to fill with stuff.. then we look at the job and it becomes overwhelming… take heart it can be done and Tina I have faith that u are ready to change your life… and yes if u want the people around u to change it starts with u. (lead by example) And remember when u create a vaccun u make way for better stuff, so be ruthless. Have a garage sales envolve and unite the family, get them envolved as i’m sure this is not just ur problem. Go and make the shift u want to see.
Best wishes Birgit
Hi Tina,
Grab those garbo bags and laundry baskets and start at the door to your bedroom, then just clear a path to your bed then clear your bed, if you are going to keep an item then put it in a basket if not then strait into a bin bag, no need to make a decision on what to do with it just yet as long as you have decided not to keep it. I find that I get cought up on trying to decide what to do with it once I have made a choice to get rid of it, so now I just make one of two choices Keep or Go. I have found that I can move through a room a lot quicker and get a lot more done this way and I don’t feel overwhelmed.
Chin up as long as you believe in the change you are trying to make you will win in the end.
Hi Tina,
Just because Protective Services has been called does NOT mean the very worst, it really, really doesn’t; they do NOT want to take your children, they really really don’t; their goal is to assist you with getting things done to keep them in the home, and ASAP,= have you thought about asking them for help with this to get you motivated? They may have a budget for a chore worker to come and help you, you just never know. Also reach out to people you know and any family around, because this is a crisis; ask them if they can come and help you do the initial stuff for now, just to get you started.
Then like the others said, make up some new family rules that everyone has to take care of their own dirty clothes, put their own clean clothes away, take care of their own dirty dishes, as in rinsing them before sitting them in a neat stack to be washed, etc etc; you can do this, it will take a lot of gumption.
Have you been depressed at all, having any symptoms of being ill? Perhaps a visit to your family Doctor is also called for, just for a check up. You never know…
I wish you all the luck in the world on finding how to get your butt in gear, just try to break it up into small parts, start in your bedroom, and get the family to help as much as possible. Get some motivating music going maybe, do things a different way than usualy to get them done.
Take care
Pat B
I have been dealing with clutter confusion and I realized it has to do with the stress of being afraid of making the wrong decision to keep or pitch anything. I realized the lack of ability to make decisions may be from depression from the death of several family members recently. I went to the doctor and was put on antidepressants. Wow, what a difference! They have changed my life! Before I didn’t see dirt or clutter, or it just didn’t bother me enough to get off the couch and do something because I couldn’t decide where to start! Now I just keep going through the house without thinking and do whatever I see needs to be done. I have gathered boxes and put everything I don’t use currently in the boxes to post on freecycle. I’m so excited that my house is staying clean and more organized. I hope I can stay this “normal” and motivated with energy enough to get things done every day. I wound’t mind being on antidepressants for the rest of my life if they keep me this energized. I never thought a drug could change my life in such a dramatic way. Good luck and more women than you could ever imagine are in the same boat. Love you, Sharon
I sell a lot of my clutter at car boot sales and on e-bay, make a few extra pounds and it keeps the home tidy!